WHAT
WOULD IT BE LIKE IF WOMEN WIN (1970)
One
of the best-known American feminists, Gloria Steinern, advocated the relaxing of traditional sex roles for women and men and the
abolition of sexist laws and
practices, thereby leading to more gender fluidity and equality. Steinem was
considered among the most radical women’s activist of the era. Do you find her
ideas radical? Why or why not?
Any change is fearful, especially one
affecting both politics and sex roles, so let me begin these Utopian
speculations with a fact. To break the ice.
Women don't want to exchange
places with men. Male chauvinists, science-fiction writers and comedians may
favor that idea for its shock value, but psychologists say it is a fantasy
based on ruling-class ego and guilt. Men assume that women want to imitate
them, which is just what white people assumed about blacks. An assumption so
strong that it may convince the second-class group of the need to imitate,
but
for both women and blacks that stage has passed. Guilt produces the question:
What if they could treat us as we have treated them?
That is not our goal. But we do want to
change the economic system to one more based on merit. In Women's Lib Utopia,
there will be free access to good jobs—and decent pay for the bad ones women
have been performing all along, including housework. Increased skilled labor
might lead to a four-hour workday, and higher wages would encourage further
mechanization of repetitive jobs now kept alive by cheap labor.
With women as half the country's
elected representatives, and a woman President once in a while, the country's machismo
problems would be greatly reduced. The old-fashioned idea that manhood depends
on violence and victory is, after all, an important part of our troubles in the
streets, and in Vietnam. I'm not saying that women leaders would eliminate
violence. We are not more moral than men: we are only uncorrupted by power so
far. When we do acquire power, we might turn out to have an equal impulse
toward aggression. Even now, Margaret Mead believes that women fight less often
but more fiercely than men, because women are not taught the rules of the war
game and fight only when cornered. But for the next 50 years or so, women in
politics will be very valuable by tempering the idea of manhood into something
less aggressive and better suited to this crowded, post-atomic planet. Consumer
protection and children's rights, for instance, might get more legislative attention.
Men will have to give up
ruling-class privileges, but in return they will no longer be the only ones to
support the family, get drafted, bear the strain of power and responsibility.
Freud to the contrary, anatomy is not destiny, at least not for more than nine
months at a time. In Israel, women are drafted, and some have gone to war. In
England, more men type and run switchboards. In India and Israel, a woman
rules. In Sweden, both parents take care of the children. In this country, come
Utopia, men and women won't reverse roles; they will be free to choose
according to individual talents and preferences.
If role reform sounds sexually
unsettling, think how it will change the sexual hypocrisy we have now. No more
sex arranged on the barter system, with women pretending interest, and men
never sure whether they are loved for themselves or for the security few women
can get any other way. (Married or not, for sexual reasons or social ones, most
women still find it second nature to Uncle-Tom.) No more unequal partnerships
that eventually doom love and
sex.; men who are encouraged to
spend a lifetime living with inferiors;
with housekeepers, or dependent creatures who are still children.
No more domineering wives, emasculating
women, and "Jewish mothers," all of whom are simply human beings with
all their normal ambition and drive confined to the home.
In order to produce that kind of
confidence and individuality, child-rearing will train according to talent.
Little girls will no longer be surrounded by airtight, self-fulfilling
prophecies of natural passivity, lack of ambition and objectivity, inability to
exercise power, and dexterity (so long as special aptitude for jobs requiring
patience and dexterity is confined to poorly paid jobs; brain surgery is for
males).
Schools and universities will
help to break down traditional sex roles, even when parents will not. Half the
teachers will be men, a rarity now at preschool and elementary levels; girls
will not necessarily serve cookies or
boys hoist up the flag. Athletic teams will be picked only by strength and
skill. Sexually segregated courses like auto mechanics and home economics will
be taken by boys and girls together.
New courses in sexual politics will explore female subjugation as the model
for political oppression, and women's history will be an academic staple, along
with black history, at least until the white-male-oriented textbooks are
integrated and rewritten.
As for the American child's
classic problem—too much mother, too little father—that would be cured by an
equalization of parental responsibility. Free nurseries, school lunches, family
cafeterias built into every housing
complex, service companies that will do household cleaning chores in a regular,
businesslike way, and more responsibility by the entire community for the
children: all these will make it possible
for both mother and father to work, and to have equal leisure time with
the children at home. For parents of very young children, however, a special job category, created by government
and unions, would allow such parents a
shorter workday.
The revolution would not take
away the option of being a housewife. A woman who prefers to be her husband's
housekeeper and/or hostess would receive a percentage of his pay determined by
the pension fund, and for a job-training allowance. Or a divorce could be
treated the same way that the dissolution of a business partnership is now.
If these proposals seem
farfetched, consider Sweden, where most of them are already in effect. Sweden
is not yet a working women's lib model; most of the role-reform programs began
less than a decade
ago,
and are just beginning to take hold. But that country is so far ahead of us in
recognizing the problem that Swedish statements on sex and equality sound like
bulletins from the moon.
Our marriage laws, for instance,
are so reactionary that women's lib groups want couples to take a compulsory
written exam on the law, as for a driver's license, before going through with
the wedding. A man has alimony and wifely debts to worry about, but a woman may
lose so many of her civil rights that in the U.S. now, in important legal ways,
she becomes a child again. In some states, she cannot sign credit agreements,
use her maiden name, incorporate a business, or establish a legal residence of
her own. Being a wife, according to most social and legal definitions, is still
a nineteenth-century thing.
Assuming, however, that these
blatantly sexist laws are abolished or reformed, that job discrimination is forbidden, that parents
share financial responsibility for each other and the children, and that sexual
relationships become partnerships of equal adults (some pretty big
assumptions), then marriage will probably go right on. Men and women are, after
all, physically complementary. When society stops encouraging men to be
exploiters and women to be parasites, they may turn out to be more
complementary in emotion as well. Women's lib is not trying to destroy the
American family. A look at the statistics on divorce—plus the way in which old
people are farmed out with strangers and young people flee the home—shows the
destruction that has already been done. Liberated women are just trying to
point out the disaster, and build compassionate and practical alternatives from
the ruins.
What will exist is a variety of
alternative life-styles. Since the population explosion dictates that
childbearing be kept to a minimum, parents-and-children will be only one of
many "families": couples, age groups, working groups, mixed communes,
blood-related clans, class groups, creative groups. Single women will have the
right to stay single without ridicule, without the attitudes now betrayed by
"spinster" and "bachelor." Lesbians or homosexuals will no
longer be denied legally binding
marriages, complete with mutual-support agreements and inheritance rights.
Paradoxically, the number of homosexuals
may get smaller. With fewer over possessive
mothers and fewer fathers who hold up an impossibly cruel or perfectionist idea
of manhood, boys will be less likely to
be denied or reject their identity as males.
Changes that now seem small may
get bigger:
Men's Lib. Men now suffer from
more diseases due to stress, heart
attacks, ulcers, a higher suicide rate, greater difficulty living alone, less adaptability to change and, in general,
a shorter life-span than women. There is some scientific evidence that what
produces physical problems is not work
itself, but the inability to choose which work, and how much. With women
bearing half the financial responsibility, and with the idea of
"masculine" jobs gone, men might well fee] freer and live longer.
Religion. Protestant women are
already becoming ordained ministers; radical nuns are carrying out
liturgical functions that were once the
exclusive property of priests; Jewish women are rewriting prayers—particularly
those that Orthodox Jews recite every morning thanking God they are not female.
In the future, the church will become an area of equal participation by women.
This means, of course, that organized religion will have to give up one of its
great historical weapons: sexual repression. In most structured faiths, from
Hinduism through Roman Catholicism, the status of women went down as the
position of priests ascended. Male clergy implied, if they did not teach, that
women were unclean, unworthy and sources of ungodly temptation, in order to
remove them as rivals for the emotional forces of men. Full participation of
women in ecclesiastical life might involve certain changes in theology, such
as, for instance, a radical redefinition of sin.
Literary Problems. Revised
sex roles will outdate more children's books than civil rights ever did. Only a
few children had the problem of a Little Black Sambo, but most have the
male-female stereotypes of "Dick and Jane." A boomlet of children's
books about mothers who work has already begun, and liberated parents and
editors are beginning to pressure for change in the textbook industry. Fiction
writing will change more gradually, but romantic novels with wilting heroines
and swashbuckling heroes will be reduced to historical value. Or perhaps to the
sadomasochist trade. (MarjorieMomingstar, a romantic novel that took the
1950s by storm, has already begun to seem as unreal as its 1920s predecessor, The
Sheik.) As for the literary plots that turn on forced marriages or horrific
abortions, they will seem as dated as Prohibition stories. Free legal abortions
and free birth control will force writers to give up pregnancy as the deus
ex machina.
Manners
and Fashion.
Dress will be more androgynous, with class symbols becoming more important than
sexual ones. Pro-or anti-Establishment styles may already be more vital than
who is wearing them. Hardhats are just as likely to rough up antiwar girls as
antiwar men in the street, and police understand that women are just as likely
to be pushers or bombers. Dances haven't required that one partner lead the
other for years, anyway. Chivalry will transfer itself to those who need it, or
deserve respect: old people, admired people, anyone with an armload of
packages. Women with normal work identities will be less likely to attach their
whole sense of self to youth and appearance; thus there will be fewer nervous
breakdowns when the first wrinkles appear. Lighting cigarettes and other
treasured niceties will become gestures of mutual affection. "I like to be
helped on with my coat," says one women's lib worker, "but not if it costs
me $2,000 a year in salary."
For those with nostalgia for a
simpler past, here is a word of comfort. Anthropologist Geoffrey Gorer studied
the few peaceful human tribes and discovered one common characteristic: sex
roles were not polarized. Differences of dress and occupation were at a
minimum. Society, in other words, was not using sexual blackmail as a way of
getting women to do cheap labor, or men to be aggressive.
Thus women's lib may achieve a
more peaceful society on the way toward its other goals. That is why the
Swedish government considers reform to bring about greater equality in the sex
roles one of its most important concerns. As Prime Minister Olaf Palme
explained in a widely ignored speech delivered in Washington this spring
[1970]: "It is human beings we shall emancipate. In Sweden today,
if a politician should declare that the woman ought to have a different role
from man's, he would be regarded as something from the Stone Age." .In
other words, the most radical goal of the movement is egalitarianism.