WhiteHouse 2000 election photo-finish humor [song parodies]

graphics, tales, song parodies, poems, "new math" proposal

 


To post-election song parodies

Dubya's Lament: "My Own Worst Enemy" -
"Dub" -
"The Yellow Rogue of Texas" -
"All The Small Things" -
"The Ballad of the Bush Family"
(To print only one song, "copy" and "paste" it to your word processor.)

 

MY OWN WORSE ENEMY

new lyrics by Heather Munro Prescott (prescott@mail.ccsu.edu),
Department of History, Central Connecticut State University

Can we forget about the things I did when I was drunk?
I didn't mean to do that
I can't remember what I did and 'sides I paid the fine
Please tell me, please tell me why

(CHORUS)
I'm not in the White House
And I'm, waitin' for a recount
I had a lead in New Mexico, but now it's gone... gone

It's no surprise to me I am my own worst enemy
'Cause every time I turn around I say something stupid on TV
The chads are dropping out and there's some overseas
Still waitin'
please tell me

(CHORUS)

Please tell me why

(CHORUS)

It's no surprise to me I am my own worst enemy
[Ahhh-ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo]
'Cause time I turn around I say something stupid on TV
[Ahhh-oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo]
Can we forget about the things I said when I was drunk?
[Ahhh-ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo]
I didn't mean to call you that
[Ahhh-oooooooooooooooooooooooo]

 

DUB

[sung to the tune of "Lump" by the Presidents]
new lyrics by Heather Munro Prescott

Dub hunkered down inside his ranch
Totally motionless, sorta like a tree branch
By 10 p.m. he was in his pajamas
Thought he'd make Katie Harris ambassador to the Bahamas

He's Dub, He's Dub, He's Dub
He might be Prez
He's Dub, He's Dub, Hes Dub
What's that he sez?

Dub lingered last in line for brains,
And the ones he got were sorta half-baked and quite lame
Poor thing, at Yale he really tried hard
Later on he went AWOL on the National Guard

He's Dub, He's Dub, He's Dub
He might be Prez
He's Dub, He's Dub, He's Dub
What's that he sez?

Dub struggled at work and needed a shove
Next thing he knew in Texas he was gov
Dub spent his twenties about three sheets
To the wind drivin' at subsonic speeds

He's Dub, He's Dub, He's Dub
He might be Prez
He's Dub, He's Dub, He's Dub
What's that he sez?

Is this Dub out of his head, I think so
Is this Dub out of his head, I think so, yeah
Is this Dub out of his head, I think so
Is this Dub out of his head . . .

 

ALL THE SMALL THINGS

New lyrics by Heather Munro Prescott

All the, small things
True care, truth brings
I won, oh sh*t
A tie, let's flip
Always, I know
You'll count every vote
Watching, waiting, anticipating

Say it ain't so, I will not go, poke those chads out, carry me home
Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, etc.

Late night, count votes
this sucks, I know
Wait, there's another pile by the stairs, surprises maybe there's still
hope there

Say it ain't so, I will not go, poke those chads out, carry me home
Keep your head still, oh what a thrill, the night will go on, we'll have victory still
Say it ain't so, I will not go, poke those chads out, carry me home
Keep your head still, oh what a thrill, the night will go on, we'll have victory still
Say it ain't so, I will not go, turn the lights off, carry me home

 

THE BALLAD OF THE BUSH FAMILY

[sung to the tune of the theme song of the "Beverly Hillbillies"]
new lyrics by Heather Munro Prescott

Let me tell you all a story 'bout a man named Jeb
As governor of Florida, he kept his family fed
Then one day his brother Dubya came around
Said, "Jeb I got a problem, a solution must be found."

[what kind of problem Dub? A big one, Jeb]

The next thing you know Jeb's on the phone to Dad
Said, "Dad, Dub's election's in doubt it's really lookin' bad."
"Don't worry, son, still got some tricks up my sleeve."
So he loaded up the truck and drove to Tallahassee

[Florida, that is, swimming pools, NASCARS]

Remember folks Poppa Bush was director of the CIA
Felt it was time for the Bush boys to have their day
And Brother Jeb's ambitions were plain for all to see
He wanted to be next in line for a Bush dynasty

[you know, Dub, like the TV show, 'cept with Hillary instead of Joan Collins]

Folks don't think I'm suggesting a Bush family conspiracy
But don't you think it mighty strange that Pat and Jesse can agree?
So keep in mind as you wait to find out who has finally won
Would this have ever happened if Nader hadn't run?